BDSM Tips for Beginning Couples

BDSM Tips for Beginning Couples

Like many curious couples we like to engage in some mutually consensual BDSM. Now technically, BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Mascochism (or alternatively - Master/Mistress). However, BDSM has morphed to mean just about anything from light-spanking to full on whips, chains, leather and the like. For those who are new to the BDSM world and only know Fifty shades of Grey, let me start off by saying -- that is not BDSM but emotional and physical abuse!! BDSM relies on 3 key rules: 1. Safety -- all parties work to make sure no harm is done; 2. Sanity -- Everything is done with a level head and checking in with "are you OK" is mandatory; and 3. Consent -- Everyone checks in with mutually enthusiastic consent and a safety word is established.

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So having established that we enjoy some light mutually consensual BDSM from time to time, we thought we would share some of our tips with you.

1. BDSM is about the consensual exchange of sexual power. You don't have to spend a lot of money to create that atmosphere, just a change up of the usual dynamics might do the trick. If you are usually the submissive one in the relationship -- try taking the lead and being more aggressive, using dirty talk, controlling the positions, light spanking, etc. And, if you are usually the initiator, try letting your partner take the lead, submit to their sexual power.

2. Use a blind-fold and some earbuds. Sensory deprivation is one of the sexiest ways to introduce sexual tension and allow you to more easily give up control. By removing the stimuli from your eyes and ears, you will find your other senses are heightened and all touches are intensified.

3. Candles are nice way to introduce hot and cold play into your sexual play. Drizzling hot wax on your partners body can be very erotic, but make sure you don't use regular grocery store candles -- the wax in those can be way to hot! We love to use LUOEM low temperature wax candles for safety and pleasure.

4. Of course, no tips on BDSM play would be complete without mentioning restraints. After you and your partner have agreed upon a safe word and discussed what is allowed and not allowed when one is restrained then you can really begin to explore exchanging sexual power. There are endless variations to restraints from simple neck-ties to elaborate ropes and knots. For most beginners buying a beginner restraint kit may be the best bet. We originally started out this way and still use PALOQUETH 10 piece Bondage Set.

Remember, the main thing is to have fun, enjoy each other and always have enthusiastic, mutually consensual sex.

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Ms. CuriousCanadian

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